Standing on a vast box of a stage
your strong brown face framed
by a backdrop of glowing colours
of flags of many nations,
reflecting the rainbow of 1,000 faces
listening intently
as you urged
Take the power.
You must take the power.
The question is,
Who's in control?
Are we in control?
We have to take control.
I was already standing, mesmerized, tingling,
as people applauded,
clapping, smiling, singing, cheering,
raised hands in the air,
quietly nodded approval,
while a young women insisted
that her attendant
wheel her chair closer to the stage.
You sat down,
your face seemed to say,
"Did everybody really understand?"
I never did ask you since then
how you felt about that speech.
I would love to tell you
how I will always remember that moment,
as I will remember
how Martin Luther King
had a glorious dream.
We first met
one balmy summer day in Puget Sound
sitting on the soft green grass,
two conference participants,
I
the eager organizer
awe-struck by this new social movement,
You
the new leader.
You didn't say much then.
My memory of you then is faint.
That conference flattened me,
my mind overwhelmed by the mental emotional deluge
pounding against the walls
of my predetermined global analysis.
When you first come to Canada,
to see how we do our work up here,
you told us your story
in a daring
courageous
act of trust
how you spent most of your life
in a place called Pennhurst School.
We all knew there was a lot behind your careful words
when you said that it was not a very good place to live.
You were optimistic about the future.
Your optimism has always been wise
not frivolous.
I have learned from your wisdom,
unlearned a few things too.
I especially learned to question myself.
Years later
we talked
in a Philadelphia restaurant;
a memory seared in my heart.
You insisted on buying me lunch.
After egg rolls you told me
your voice calm and gentle
how you were HIV positive
and everything was okay
that I shouldn't worry.
You were so kind to me.
I never did have a chance
to thank you for that.
I cried
because I was losing you
because I was moved by your strength.
Your mission continued
as respected national leader
known by powerful people;
a person example of dignity
and determination;
and advocate
who must be consulted on policies
for people with disabilities.
And, now
speaking out about AIDS.
Some say you pushed yourself too much
But I guess there were those whose who thought
Martin was crazy to go to Memphis
that Malcolm should have just laid low for awhile.
Who are we to say what is safe
what is right
to those who are driven by majestic dreams
even as the darkness of death
appears on the horizon.
I heard stories from loyal friends
about you last days
in a hospital room.
You made sure you had control
over that benevolent dictatorship
of white coats and computerized contraptions,
and other peoples' desires,
until you quietly
ceded control
where every human being
has no power.
I will miss you Roland.
Your spirit and your dreams
fill my being with glowing power.
Can I ever be as strong as you?
Dignity
Solidity
Nobility
Humility
Honesty
Clarity
Credibility
Ability to pinpoint
Culpability with diplomacy.
not accepting futility
of labeled disability
Promotor of another's
Leadership Ability
unrelenting Tenacity
rigorously imposed
Self-Accountability
We all wanted to believe
In Roland's invincibility
Putting off
Inevitability
Vulnerability
Fragility
Reality and
Undeniability
of Mortality
Mortality but not Finality
of Powerful Spirituality